My Dirty Little Secret

suz hiding purpleYes, it’s true. I have a dirty little secret… a serious personality flaw that those closest to me are forever chiding me about. And since I have always felt that the best way to keep people from throwing all my own dirt back in my face, I decided to toss it all out there, here and now for all the world to see. So here goes…

I am the most unorganized, totally forgetful, lose everything, walking tornado you will ever know. And I am not exaggerating. My studio is always in a whirlwind, my purse, if I can find it, is either busting at the seams with all the crap I’ve been hauling around since 1978 or it’s completely empty with me having no clue where all that stuff that was just in it has suddenly disappeared to. And… heaven forbid, if you give me a piece of paper with information on it that is critical for the salvation of all mankind on the face on the earth, I will promptly lose it… along with my iPhone and wallet, you know, just for good measure. I am notorious for missing appointments, even though I always write them down in my planner, but I lose the planner on an hourly basis.

OK, so that you don’t totally get the wrong impression I am not a hoarder or live in mountains of mess. In my personal life I’m quite the minimalist. It’s my studio that takes the brunt of it. So, picture this: I’m working on the calendar with art and paint and paper all over the place trying to come up with a visual for, let’s say, May. Quite often to get color scheme ideas I will go look at some of my gorgeous Hawaiian hula costumes in my Hula room, also at my studio. Now I’m in my Hula room with all my dresses pulled out all over the place and I see one with the hem coming out. So, I haul it into the Sewing Room, also at my studio and as I walk in, I see the new fabric I just bought and I decide to start drafting a pattern for it. About now, Big Al calls and says, “Come home and let’s go sit on the beach.” So obviously, lickity split, I’m outta there, with all that creative chaos in my wake. Now the next day just repeats itself with some variation and within three days, the place is a disaster. (I really sound like I have adult ADD. Maybe I do!)

My husband said he really believes it’s not a personality flaw but rather a “lifestyle choice” and that if I really wanted to, I could change. We’ll, I am tired of it. So, in my effort to be teachable, I am going to change. (As I am writing this, I originally had the word try inserted before the word change but decided that I needed to be very affirmative and took it out!  I’m not going to just try…I’m going to do it!)

I am going to make a conscience effort to put things back where they belong immediately after I use them. I am going to start writing down appointments and deadlines so they don’t fly by me, giving me both whiplash and a salon blow dry in the process.

Now don’t get me wrong… I’m not going to do this so I can cram even more stuff into my day. I’m going to do this to stop me from running around like a chicken with its head cut off, confusing my own chaotic busyness with the idea that it’s producing a forward motion. Because it rarely does! Usually it starts a circular motion that forms the above-mentioned tornado!)  So, everyone who knows me, be warned…a new Suzy is emerging.