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OK, so January is officially over. And if you are anything like me, you felt a lovely breeze as all those New Year’s resolutions flew right out your window. Yikes! Do you know what that means? Simply that it’s time to get serious and regroup.

Although there is something magical about putting your best foot forward at the beginning of a fresh new year, it’s easy to get side tracked. But don’t fall into the trap of telling yourself that this wasn’t meant to be your year. Don’t start believing that maybe you don’t have what it takes.

Because that’s just plain wrong.

Maybe we haven’t accomplished everything we set out to do in life in the last 30 days. Big deal.

We are extraordinary beings with immeasurable potential. Maybe we’re not exactly where we want to be, but understand this: over-the-top, amazing people don’t just happen, they evolve… one small step at a time. Here’s how I’m approaching it.

1. Relax. Just drop the guilt and relax. The best part is it’s not a race! There is still plenty of time this year to put our dreams into action, because we can start over any day we choose. I choose today. And if in a couple days I need to choose again, that’s gonna be okay too.
2. Rethink those resolutions. There may be a reason they didn’t work or fit into your life the first time. Think about them from a different perspective and see if you can change the whole angle of the plan.
3. Reorganize. In the process, you just may come up with an even better plan filled with more magic, sparkle, and shine than you ever dreamed before.

What are you going to focus on first?

 What ignites the fire in your soul?

So, what am I going for in 2019? One of the things I’m going to continue to focus on are rollovers from last year, but I am going to look at them with a fresh, new perspective. I had some serious health issues the last two years when I was diagnosed with advanced stage Lyme Disease. In addition to doing everything the doctors prescribed, I went on a dietary health kick as well. (You know, like Hippocrates said, “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”) I still have no idea where I conjured up the will power and self-control, but I did and it changed the whole way I perceive food and exercise. So, while I will still take all my prescribed meds, I am going to continue to educate myself and hone my diet even more to make myself as healthy as possible. Second, and really the most exciting for me is that I’m committed to writing this blog. I have been hounded, pestered bugged and bribed into writing it by so many friends and family that I decided this was going to be the year to do it. And since this is my first post for 2019 and it’s coming out in February you get the idea that not everything has to be carved in stone to start in January!

So, join with me. First, relax. Second, rethink those resolutions. And third, reorganize. It really is a good year to make our lives and our actions into a story worth telling!

What steps are you going to take to light your world up and create a life worth loving?

I was going to start this blog by telling you about an encounter I
had with a young woman who was desperately trying to avoid accepting an
irreversible chain of events that was forcing her to embrace Plan B. She
was determined as any woman could possibly be. She was smart,
articulate, talented. She knew what she wanted was determined to not let
anything stop her despite the irreparable, no win-scenario she was
facing.  She was surrounded a by support system who loved her and was
limitless in every way, willing to help her shift gears and open her
mind to new possibilities.

She’d have none of it. She wanted what she wanted and she refused to be distracted. It was a difficult conversation.
Not because she, in many ways was awful lot like me in her
determination. And not because her non-acceptance of the situation was
obviously causing her tremendous pain and grief, for it was really
starting to wear on her emotionally, physically and mentally. And the
crazy thing was, as I watched her resolve start to crumble what I saw
was not her desire to move on to Plan B, but rather her idea to simply
give up all together. But the most difficult part of the whole thing was
that she was my own daughter.

Here I have spent a huge part of my
adult life raising kids to be  strong, self-reliant adults, trying to
teach them my philosophy of life. And not only did I impart that wisdom
to my own kids but dang, if I didn’t make a career of it. And here I was
sitting with my daughter as she struggled to accept the most basic of
philosophical ideas; that life is all about how you handle Plan B.

Sure,
she knows all my stories by heart. My kids call them lectures and have
even jokingly numbered them, to “save time”.  They’d hit me with, “Mom,
don’t lecture me. Just tell me which one you wanna tell me and I’ll
recite it to you”

So, you all know my Plan B lecture too. I wrote it almost 3 decades ago and it’s still true today.

Plan
A is always my first choice. You know, the one where everything works
out to be “happily ever after.” But more often than not, I find myself
dealing with the upside-down, inside-out version where nothing goes as
it should. It’s at this point the real test of my character comes in… Do
I sink or do I swim? Do I wallow in self-pity and play the victim or
simply shift gears and make the best of the situation? The choice is
mine. After all… life is all about how you handle Plan B

But
sometimes hearing your mom say things is not the same as hearing an
aunt or family friend tell you. I can’t tell you how many times over the
years I have whispered a thought into my friends’ ear and asked them to
gently mention it to my kids. It comes across as a brilliant revelation
to them and they more readily act on it than if it came from me.

Well
my daughter is an adult and so I decided to stop messing around with
all the covert conversations. I sat her down and gave her my newest Plan
B lecture in an effort to talk some sense into her.  After I was done,
she stared blankly at me for a moment and then, through tears said,
“That’s good, you need to write that down”

So, Ta-da! I did. And here it is in a nutshell and actually made it into my new 2020 Choose to Be Magnificent Calendar.

                                       Maybe Plan B Was Supposed to Be Plan A All Along
It’s
human nature… when things are spiraling out of control, we try to
quickly manipulate everything back into place. When that doesn’t work,
quite often our next move is to wash our hands of the whole situation
and walk—or run!—away. It’s called “fight or flight,” and we are pretty
darn good at it.

But wait! Maybe there is another option
that doesn’t require the fight of your life or running way in survival
mode. Maybe, even when everything is crumbling around you, all your hard
work and energy are about to pay off. Maybe the set back you think you
are experiencing is really a set up for something bigger and better.
Maybe all it’s going to take for your dreams to take flight is to open
your mind to the possibility of a Plan B, C, or even D…

All
you need to do is let go of your expectation that Plan A was the only
way forward… and then watch the magic happen. Because maybe, just maybe,
Plan B was Plan A all along and it took all these adjustments for it to
evolve into the magnificent version it was always meant to be.

The good news is, she has now embraced Plan B and is moving forward. Yay!!!!!