I love to talk to people.
Visiting with people, I especially love to hear what makes them tick. But lately the responses range seem to often include anxiety they are experiencing over fear, negativity, outside influence, health, worry over the future economy, politics and the state of our country, community and world.
With such a focus, no wonder they are struggling.
Carrying a load like that, its no wonder they have issues with anxiety and depression and are struggling to embrace happiness and joy. We are continually surrounded, perhaps more now that ever, in recent years, with negativity… really awful behavior not only by a few loose cannons but also by mainstream media. The idea that bad news makes for good rating has given way to the media over sensationalizing everything.
Social media has given a voice to some that is not healthy.
The negativity on social media and the news is unbelievable. (Literally unbelievable! I believe nothing anyone rants, screams, sensationalize or takes out of context! The minute they do, I cease to believe anything they then go on to say!) They blurt out statements hidden by a skewed profile and their words have power… damaging power. While I respect their freedom of speech, I do not, however, need, want or choose to be around it.
We can choose to not buy into it.
As women of strength and substance, we can choose to not buy into that rhetoric. We start by not inviting or tolerating it in our homes, and in our lives. By setting boundaries and not engaging anyone or anything that threatens our peace we can eliminate that negativity from our lives
Here are my three R’s of how I do it:
- Refuse to listen until they calm down. No nastiness, no violence, no screaming, and no ranting. And no threatening to “unfriend me” if I don’t agree with them. If that happens, do not engage them, answer them or give them a second thought. Walk away, physically or digitally. (Like dealing with a demanding two-year-old, they will quickly realize that you will not tolerate that.)
- Require facts, not hearsay. Facebook or Instagram memes have little to do with reality and unchecked “news sources” are often shared as absolute truths. We want facts. Documented facts. Do not allow words to be twisted and used in ways we know were not intended but are skewed to fit their agenda.
- Respond with calmness and kindness. Think before you speak and weigh your words. Then take a very deep breath. Exhale. Now, most importantly, speak with a soft voice. (Make them lean in to hear you! It works!) Staying calm amidst a room full of people who are losing it, you win every time. You stay in control of your mindset and don’t allow anyone to dull your sparkle.
Remember these three R’s
In conclusion, realizing and understanding that no one can make us feel anger, inferiority, pressure, hate or any other negative emotion unless we allow it. By choosing to shun this kind of negative energy we call the shots. We can embrace happiness by Refusing negativity, Requiring civility and verified facts and always Respond accordingly.
What wonderful, wacky ideas and tips do you have for eliminating negativity and keeping it at bay?